Identity Crisis 101: Find and Celebrate Your Identity

"I don't know who I am," is the cry of men and women, from all around the world. "I have lost my identity."

This is the kind of an identity crisis that can affect the rest of a person's life.

There are many people who seem to try to live their entire lives, in terms of the identity of their spouses. Sometimes there is the kind of trauma that results from trying to define one's whole life, in terms the identity of someone else. At other times, there may be the loss of a spouse or partner, with whom one has identified himself or herself. There may also be the situation in which one tries to find his or her own identity, in terms of a family member or friend.

Consider this example.

A young woman, always defines her identity in terms of her husband who is a doctor. Needless to say, he is a doctor; she is not a doctor. In her life role, she is a hairdresser. Trying to identify herself, in terms of his role and job as a doctor, becomes increasingly frustrating for her.

As a result, she grows more and more unhappy. She becomes aware of her own inadequacy, even in terms of trying to play the role of being a doctor's wife. Obviously, as a hair dresser, she realizes that her own personal identity, does not necessarily fit with that of the identity of her spouse.

She is who she actually is and what she is trained to do and does as an occupation defines her identity, at least to some extent. Having a spouse who is a doctor is only one part of her life. It is not her actual identity.

This can be true of a man as well, who defines himself in terms of being the husband of a very successful business woman. In this case, he is a mechanic. His happiness is at stake and so is hers simply because the training and the job that he has, identifies him. It is not the wife's role or job that gives him his identity. In this case he is not the successful business person, even though in his own way he may be very successful. So he too, becomes unhappy and frustrated.

In another instance, a person loses a spouse after years and years of marriage. The remaining spouse also loses the identity that he or she has taken on during that time, by seeing his or her own identity in terms of the departed spouse. Suddenly, the partner left behind experiences a total loss of identity and goes through an identity crisis.

Life can become tremendously confusing at this time as all of the stages of grief are part of this scenario too.

One of the realities in life is this. At some point in time, each one of us will probably be forced to walk alone. That is when we will come to understand who we really are and what our actual roles in life are to be, in conjunction with what we have been taught or have learned from others.

Finding one's own true identity is not an easy task but it is an essential undertaking, if we want to survive an identity crisis. We have to come to grips with who we really are.

There are always going to be those family and friends around us who will try to make us take on their identities, particularly when they see themselves as being on some kind of a unique pedestals.

We can try to be like them, behave or act like them and live our lives like them but the bottom line is that when push comes to shove, it is their identity that we are attempting to take on and not our own.

It may appear to be an appropriate identity for us for a while, but eventually there will be a breakdown of identity or an identity crisis.

In taking on the identity of another person, which is something that each one of us more than likely does at one time or another in our lives, it is extremely important that we acknowledge that this is what we are doing.

Recognition of that reality allows us to remain in touch with our own lives.

A son often takes on the identity of his father; a daughter tends to take on the identity of her mother. But ultimately, neither the son nor the daughter will really become the father or the mother, even though they may be like their parents in many ways.

In conclusion let me suggest that God has created each one of us to be special and unique in terms of having our own personal identity.

Thus, I cannot take on the identity of one of my family members or friends, simply because it pleases that person. I do not fit into my family member or friend's identity and he or she does not fit into mine. Acknowledging the reality that we are each special and unique in terms of personal identity allows us to be real.

You can be you and I can be me. Your identity is yours and mine is mine. Thank God for that!

We each need to acknowledge our own true identities, essentially who we are in God's plan for our lives. Then we will find ourselves truly blessed and much happier as the identity crisis is resolved for once and for all.

Find and celebrate your own identity!