Caring For Baby Boomers and Seniors In Their Own Homes

With proper health care, you as a baby boomer or senior could live to be 100 years if age, or older. You can also be instrumental in helping other baby boomers or seniors live to be a ripe old age, in their own homes.

Senior care is becoming a major concern in North America, particularly because there are thousands of baby boomers and seniors in our era. By baby boomers, I am referring to those who were born after World War 11 and those over sixty five as seniors. It is only a matter of time, before baby boomers become seniors too.

The big problem for baby boomers and seniors lies in the reality that very soon, there are not going to be enough nurses, personal support workers or even family members to care for them, or perhaps for you, if you are a baby boomer heading into retirement.

Hospitalization or nursing home care may not be feasible or possible for the majority of baby boomers and seniors, in spite of the fact that it will be needed by many of them. For many,  it may mean twenty four hour care, seven days per week.

The actual cost of hospitalization and health care is extremely high already. Many baby boomers and seniors may not be able to afford the kind of care they will need.

What can we do to rectify this situation? Everyone of us has baby boomers and seniors in our lives; many of us are in baby boomer status already, or beyond that age.

Can baby boomers and seniors be cared for in their own homes? Definitely.

Ten tips for managing baby boomer or senior care at home:

1. Baby boomers and seniors are generally most comfortable in their own homes, with their family members and in amongst their own belongings. To take them out of that environment may result in dis-orientation. They are accustomed to the food, temperature, air, etc. and changing any or all of that may result in other, more serious problems. They are used to having people come and go in their lives, as well. This is the world that they know.

2. Safety is a major concern and the majority of baby boomers and seniors feel safe at home. In fact, most of them have already instituted safety precautions for themselves, although this is not always the case. One of the first things that must be taken into consideration is whether or not the baby boomers or seniors are safe. If not, immediate action is necessary on the part of the family or designated care giver.

3. In taking a serious look at health care in the home of baby boomers or seniors, it is always a good idea to do an assessment of the environment, in the light of what is currently happening. This can be done quite easily, by spending quality time with the baby boomers or seniors and other family members. Visiting the family doctor with the baby boomers or seniors, along with other family members is generally a good idea. Remember that many of these men and women will have had the same doctors for many years and their doctors may be almost the same age they are. The doctors will likely know the baby boomers or seniors well and their preferences must be taken into consideration.

4. Remember that baby boomers or seniors in need of care, will have definite ideas about what they expect in terms of their own health care needs. Many of them may not have had sufficient care in the recent past and will improve immensely when their proper health care needs are met. You may be totally amazed at the degree of improvement. They may or may not understand the current changes in the health care system, and you may have to explain it to them.

5. Dietary needs are especially important, as nutrition is a primary factor in health care. Assess the baby boomers or seniors for their ability to provide adequate food to sustain their health. Many of them  may not have sufficient income to provide for their own dietary requirements. They may need to obtain a supplemental income of some kind. A few may be hoarding their disability or old age pension checks and not using them to meet their needs. Find out who is looking after their finances and work with that family member or other person. If necessary, find or designate a family member to take the financial responsibility for them.

6. Assessing medical needs is a huge factor. Many baby boomers or seniors will be in need of wheelchairs, walkers, canes, etc. and have never had anyone to help them in this regard. They may need drugs that they cannot afford and will require assistance in that respect. They may require other health care items that can be obtained quite easily. What about their medications? Ask them if they are taking their medications? If not, why not? Where are they obtaining them and are they over-priced? Are they hoarding their medications or using out-dated medications? Have they obtained generic drugs? Do they know what generic drugs are? How are their medications stored? Do they know how to dispose of medications that are outdated or have not been used?

7. Spiritual needs are extremely important to baby boomers and seniors, as the era in which they grew up probably focused on having those needs met. Do they have a priest, pastor or chaplain? Is that person aware of what these baby boomers or other seniors stand in need of at this time in their lives? Make contact with the person of their choice, if they are not able to do so.

8. Have plans been made for baby boomers or seniors, should they pass away unexpectedly? Is there a 'DNR' (do not resuscitate) order request, signed by the baby boomers or seniors, family members and their doctor? Has a will been drawn up? If not, why not? Does he or she have legal counsel? What about power of attorney? This may prove to be extremely important in the future.

9. Fear and paranoia are major issues with baby boomers or seniors, as many have had bad experiences previously with others including health care workers, lawyers, doctors, etc. A lot of them have had their homes broken into and things stolen by people who they have trusted, including family members and friends. It is like losing a part of themselves when there is a violation like this in their homes. It is not easy to get people to trust you when they have been violated in some way, by someone else.

10. Health involves healing, happiness and wholeness. You can be instrumental in bringing this into the life of  baby boomers or seniors as minor care givers, family members, personal support workers or nurses. Consider carefully what you can or cannot do and then make a positive, constructive decision with respect to the baby boomers or seniors in your life or under your care. Care is important, but quality care is even more important.

Remember that there are those around you who have gone through this before and that you are not alone in caring for baby boomers or seniors. There are many organizations which can be of help, as well. What you do can be instrumental in helping others to live to a ripe old age.

Think about doing some of these things for yourself also, if you are a baby boomer or a senior and you could be among the ones who live to be a hundred years of age or older.

Identity Crisis 101: Find and Celebrate Your Identity

"I don't know who I am," is the cry of men and women, from all around the world. "I have lost my identity."

This is the kind of an identity crisis that can affect the rest of a person's life.

There are many people who seem to try to live their entire lives, in terms of the identity of their spouses. Sometimes there is the kind of trauma that results from trying to define one's whole life, in terms the identity of someone else. At other times, there may be the loss of a spouse or partner, with whom one has identified himself or herself. There may also be the situation in which one tries to find his or her own identity, in terms of a family member or friend.

Consider this example.

A young woman, always defines her identity in terms of her husband who is a doctor. Needless to say, he is a doctor; she is not a doctor. In her life role, she is a hairdresser. Trying to identify herself, in terms of his role and job as a doctor, becomes increasingly frustrating for her.

As a result, she grows more and more unhappy. She becomes aware of her own inadequacy, even in terms of trying to play the role of being a doctor's wife. Obviously, as a hair dresser, she realizes that her own personal identity, does not necessarily fit with that of the identity of her spouse.

She is who she actually is and what she is trained to do and does as an occupation defines her identity, at least to some extent. Having a spouse who is a doctor is only one part of her life. It is not her actual identity.

This can be true of a man as well, who defines himself in terms of being the husband of a very successful business woman. In this case, he is a mechanic. His happiness is at stake and so is hers simply because the training and the job that he has, identifies him. It is not the wife's role or job that gives him his identity. In this case he is not the successful business person, even though in his own way he may be very successful. So he too, becomes unhappy and frustrated.

In another instance, a person loses a spouse after years and years of marriage. The remaining spouse also loses the identity that he or she has taken on during that time, by seeing his or her own identity in terms of the departed spouse. Suddenly, the partner left behind experiences a total loss of identity and goes through an identity crisis.

Life can become tremendously confusing at this time as all of the stages of grief are part of this scenario too.

One of the realities in life is this. At some point in time, each one of us will probably be forced to walk alone. That is when we will come to understand who we really are and what our actual roles in life are to be, in conjunction with what we have been taught or have learned from others.

Finding one's own true identity is not an easy task but it is an essential undertaking, if we want to survive an identity crisis. We have to come to grips with who we really are.

There are always going to be those family and friends around us who will try to make us take on their identities, particularly when they see themselves as being on some kind of a unique pedestals.

We can try to be like them, behave or act like them and live our lives like them but the bottom line is that when push comes to shove, it is their identity that we are attempting to take on and not our own.

It may appear to be an appropriate identity for us for a while, but eventually there will be a breakdown of identity or an identity crisis.

In taking on the identity of another person, which is something that each one of us more than likely does at one time or another in our lives, it is extremely important that we acknowledge that this is what we are doing.

Recognition of that reality allows us to remain in touch with our own lives.

A son often takes on the identity of his father; a daughter tends to take on the identity of her mother. But ultimately, neither the son nor the daughter will really become the father or the mother, even though they may be like their parents in many ways.

In conclusion let me suggest that God has created each one of us to be special and unique in terms of having our own personal identity.

Thus, I cannot take on the identity of one of my family members or friends, simply because it pleases that person. I do not fit into my family member or friend's identity and he or she does not fit into mine. Acknowledging the reality that we are each special and unique in terms of personal identity allows us to be real.

You can be you and I can be me. Your identity is yours and mine is mine. Thank God for that!

We each need to acknowledge our own true identities, essentially who we are in God's plan for our lives. Then we will find ourselves truly blessed and much happier as the identity crisis is resolved for once and for all.

Find and celebrate your own identity!

Single Parent: Are you coping with empty nest syndrome?

Are you a single parent faced with empty nest syndrome, unsure how to cope on your own? You are not alone. You are aware of the problems a single parent has to face.  Keys to dealing with these kinds of problems include acceptance and attitude, action and adjusting.

The article “Single parenting and today's family” looks at some of the problems. With empty nest syndrome, a child seems old enough and responsible enough to leave home, like a baby bird that has to leave its nest, at one point or another. You know that in order for your child to move on in life, he or she has to strike out on his or her own. You may not like it, but you know that it is for the best and inevitable.

The problems faced by single parents do not necessarily disappear when a child leaves home. In fact, they may multiply, at times. There can also be the additional problem of coping with empty nest syndrome as a single parent. Both mothers and fathers have to deal with empty nest syndrome as single parents, at different times and for different reasons. It is not always easy.

Psychologically, empty nest syndrome is seldom without a tremendous tug on one’s heart strings and emotions, sometimes in a positive direction, but often in a negative direction. For a single parent, suddenly left on his or her own when a child leaves home, it can be devastating or exhilarating. A single parent who has raised a child alone often has strong psychological and emotional ties to that child and may have difficulty letting that child go away to college or university. Perhaps he or she is just beginning a new career somewhere and a major move for him or her is in order.

Can the child survive or not?

Parental responsibility for that child does not necessarily end when the child leaves home. Coping with the empty nest can be increasingly difficult when the child does not appear to be coping well on his or her own, after leaving home. There can be serious guilt related issues because of one’s single status.

There are things a single parent can do to cope with empty nest syndrome, including the following.

Acceptance:

Accepting the reality of inevitable transition in life is important for single parents. Times change, circumstances change and life goes on, with or without a child continuing to live at home. Making a determined effort to get on with life on one’s own, with that child at a distance, is not always easy, but it is possible.

Attitude:

The attitude of the single parent with respect to his or her empty nest is extremely important, as it will be a major factor in coping with the reality of suddenly being alone. Some single parents have difficulty being alone because they have developed some degree of dependency on a child while raising him or her.
With the right attitude, there are solutions. For example, other college and university students often need a place to live and a newly alone single parent can offer room and board for them. There are organizations that need volunteers for work with disabled children. Seeking professional counseling if the empty nest syndrome seems too overwhelming is another answer.

Action:

Positive action on the part of the single parent can reduce the anxiety and sense of loss experienced when suddenly on one’s own. Recognizing that empty nest syndrome is a common phenomenon and becoming involved with others in a support group, can prove beneficial for everyone. Getting involved in activities of one’s own choosing, like taking interest level courses in art or music, academic or employment skills upgrading, etc. can help fill in the empty hours and open new horizons of possibility.

Adjusting:

Being able to adjust to your new status in life is a sign of good mental and emotional health and well-being. In other words, be aware that your status is now different and will continue to change over the years. Empty nest syndrome presents a wonderful opportunity for you to expand your own horizons in life, should you choose to do so.

Adjust to the reality that your grown child is experiencing a new status in his or her life too, but it does not necessarily exclude you. In fact, he or she may secretly admire your ability to adjust to his or her transition in life.

Welcome your child home for holidays or special occasions. At a moment’s notice, visit your child in his or her new surroundings and your anxieties may be lessened. Appreciate his or her successes, as you have already laid the foundation for them. Keep the doors of communication open.

Consider the reality that empty nest syndrome may simply be a precursor to your pending new role as a grandparent, if or when your child marries and has children. Enjoy the reality that both of your lives are changing just as they should and celebrate the changes.