Christmas: How to Have an Extended Family Holiday Season

Is it possible to have a happy, extended family, holiday season celebration?

“Joy to the world”, one part of the extended family may be singing, while the other mourns for broken or lost relationships of the past, during the holiday season. There is often a combination of joy and sorrow in extended families at Christmas.

“Managing extended family issues” has some excellent suggestions for extended family situations. These are applicable to any holiday season celebration.     

Extended family holiday season celebrations can be wonderful, but at the same time, when marriages break up and re-marriages take place with the birth or acquisition of additional children and grandchildren, the relationships between extended family members can present numerous tensions and unnecessary stress. Tensions in any family can run high and in extended families, may be even worse. Extended families relationships are complex, to say the least. Each family situation will be different and unique.

Consider the following suggestions with respect to an extended family holiday season celebration.

Organization and communication:

Organizing an extended family, holiday season celebration carefully, is important as family members, young and old may have inter-personal relationship issues that could create potential problems. Good organization and effective communication can prevent a lot of stress, as well as avoid anger and frustration among extended family members of all ages.  

Timeliness:

Timeliness can be an important issue in an extended family celebration during the holiday season, as not every extended family member will always be available all of the time. Trying to get everyone together at the same time may be possible, but if not, consider possible alternatives so that everyone is included as part of the holiday season celebration.

Careful planning:

Careful planning for an extended family, holiday season celebration may involve different belief systems, Christian and non-Christian. While it may not be possible to respect everyone’s wishes and desires, at the same time, mutual respect for each family member is vital. With careful planning, each person will know and understand that he or she is a loved and important part of the extended family, regardless of his or her religious beliefs, culture or background.  

Functional versus dysfunctional families:

Every family, including extended families, can have dysfunctional family situations. A holiday season celebration is not the time to attempt to resolve dysfunctional family scenarios in an extended family; nor is it the time to resolve family disputes, although that can happen if there is a mutual attitude of love, joy and peace among everyone. Taking sides and passing judgment on one another will only intensify an adverse extended family situation, while allowing room for peaceful resolution that includes forgiveness at some time in the future, is a good idea.

Understanding one another:

When family members begin to understand each other, many hurts or grievances of the past can be resolved. Sometimes simply talking to one another in terms of concern, caring and compassion can bring healing, health and wholeness to an extended family.

Remember that the holiday season is a time for the celebration of the birth of the Christ-child, whose role was and still is that of ‘Peacemaker’. Choosing to be a peacemaker exemplifies the love of God and one another in an extended family situation and sets a good example for others. This can make a huge difference in the New Year, as well as in later years, when the family will probably extend even further.