You Were My Best Friend: Dealing With the Loss of a Pet

The death of a pet is potentially devastating for any adult, teenager or child. Its loss often brings a conundrum of mixed feelings, including joy and sorrow. Normally, we rejoice in celebrating the lives of our pets, simply because of our positive, constructive and pro-active relationship towards them and their interaction with us.

We also mourn their loss when they pass away, as with their loss, whether it is sudden or expected, there is inevitable grief with all of its stages including denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

"You were my best friend," a pet owner who is grieving, may say to a deceased pet, even one that passed away years ago. In his or her memory, the pet lives on, but there may be a lingering sense of emptiness, the awareness of a void that seems like it can never be filled.

Grieving for a deceased pet is a normal, healthy, human reaction, although it may not seem that way, at that time. Over-reactions tend to be of concern, particularly when the loss of a pet appears to be something that its owner does not seem to get over after a reasonable length of time.

How long should one grieve for a pet that has passed away?

There are no hard and fast rules about what is an appropriate length of time for a person to grieve for a deceased pet. One person may grieve considerably longer than another, depending upon his or her relationship to that particular pet. How each one grieves may differ also.

Children may be traumatized by the death of a pet, particularly when it dies suddenly. A pet is often part of a child's secure world. Any changes to this world can seem to be problematic to him or her, as the pet is there and then it is gone, changing the child's world. Routines that include the care of a pet are disrupted, but somehow, life must go on.

It is never easy to say goodbye to a pet, but at the same time, it is necessary. Transitions in life are inevitable, even though no one really expects his or her pet to die.

There may be strong guilt feelings associated with the loss of a pet, and a series of regrets may surface. "If only," cannot and will not bring a pet back.

The love of a pet and the love experienced from that pet, are both an important part of the human experience. Most people will experience them, at one time or another, but then they also have to deal with the awareness of the loss of that love, as most pets do not normally have a lengthy lifespan.

Love never dies and is transferable, at least to some extent, as far as a pet is concerned. In other words, obtaining another pet may appear to be an appropriate solution for a person who is grieving for a lost pet. At the same time, each pet is unique and different. The way a person relates to that new pet may differ also. New thoughts and feelings tend to surface in relation to new pets, but that is a good thing, as life always moves forward,

The joy of a good experience with a pet is never forgotten; nor should it be. There is invariably an element of newness, expectation and self-realization in any owner-pet relationship. That relationship in turn, often helps a person to fulfill and understand his or her own life, as well as his or her role with respect to his or her relationship and responsibility towards potential pets. In his or her lifetime, anyone can have more than one best friend, as long as he or she is open to a new experience.

Coffee and My Spouse: Love, Caffeine Addiction or Something Else

Something may be amiss! Over time, there are just too many cups of coffee at the coffee shop for this to be as a simple happenstance.

"Is this a coffee addiction or is there something else going on?" a curious woman asks the waitress in a coffee shop, with respect to her spouse, who virtually lives for his coffee. "Is that man really in love with me?"

"I don't know," she replies. The waitress is too busy serving coffee to customers in the coffee shop to answer all of their questions. Sometimes silence states the unstated.

"Let's go to the coffee shop," her spouse says, repeatedly.

"Yes, dear," is her typical response.

This phenomenon is re-occurring repeatedly all around the world. Thus, the wife in question begins to wonder what is really going on.

"Should I be concerned?" she asks herself, as she quietly sips on her coffee while seated across from, or beside her spouse. She knows that caffeine has always been potentially addictive in nature and that recently, it has become even more so over the last few decades, with a dramatic increase in the number of thriving coffee shops.

She also knows that almost everyone loves having a good cup of coffee, but that does not necessarily mean 'coffee shop' coffee. Many loyal and dedicated spouses love waking up to a hot cup of coffee, or enjoy one at mid-morning in their own homes with their spouses, other family members or close friends. Others simply like to start a day at work with a good cup of hot coffee, or have a mid-morning break with a cup of coffee accompanied by a fresh bagel, hot out of the oven. Donuts and coffee go well together too, many will attest.

Does it always have to be coffee at the coffee shop?

There is a certain degree of ambiance in most coffee shop settings, where hundreds of people enjoy drinking coffee alone, as well as together with others, or spending quality time with someone special, like a spouse or a friend. It does not seem to matter whether they are drinking regular coffee, a chocolate latte, or other unique coffees, like those made from freshly ground, Jamaican coffee beans. Different nationalities enjoy culturally specific coffee, like Italian espressos, or other exotic specialty coffees from distant countries, all of the time.

Sharing something as simple as a cup of coffee with others in general, is one step towards building strong, positive relationships. Many potential marital relationships begin when two people share coffee and swap their own unique, life stories.

Coffee is still relatively affordable as a social luxury that the majority of spouses can enjoy together. When coffee shops are part of the scene at odd times of the day or night repeatedly, any spouse may start to wonder about his or her significant other.

"What is my spouse really stating by going to the coffee shop for coffee, all of the time?"

"I love coffee and my spouse, but is he otherwise engaged?"

"Maybe this has something to do with business?"

Checking up on a spouse at the coffee shop now and then, might be a good idea.

"I will just have to have a coffee with my spouse today," might help to rescue a potentially disastrous marriage, but then maybe not.

Addiction is addiction. Love is love and something else may be anything other.

The Trip of a Lifetime: Share Your Trip of a Lifetime

Have you experienced the trip of a lifetime? Ask yourself, what made it or will make it into the trip of a lifetime? Perhaps it is one of those unique, special moments when you are or were traveling, that results in the designation of your trip as being the trip of a lifetime.

Most people experience at least one of those kinds of trips during their lifetimes. That particular trip becomes the highlight of their lives and their travels. Those going through the actual subjective experience of traveling, are awakened to the reality that a trip truly is a trip of a lifetime, at least for them. Others may perceive it objectively, as such, but experiencing the trip of a lifetime first hand is what makes it real.

Planning what could potentially prove to be the trip of a lifetime for you, often entails a great deal of close attention to details. For some trips, that involves more details than others. A trip of a lifetime may just happen unexpectedly, but its likelihood increases with careful planning. At the same time, no one can be certain that careful planning guarantees it will turn out to be the trip of a lifetime. There are simply too many 'if' factors that can get in the way.

Life itself often has a way of interfering with the best-laid plans when it comes to traveling. Unexpected things happen suddenly, forcing an immediate or long-term change of plans. Sometimes, these changes work out for the better, but not always. Being flexible is important.

A trip of a lifetime is a high ideal for you to strive towards. In retrospect, your trip of a lifetime may prove to be the first trip you ever took, or perhaps it is the last one you will ever take. It can also be one of any number of the trips you have taken, or may still take during your lifetime. Regardless of when or how it happens, the trip of a lifetime for you, will be the highlight of your travel days. It is something that you will always remember because of its powerful, positive impact on your life and the vivid memories of where you have been, who you have met and what you have done.

It may not always be the actual place to which you travel that makes a trip the trip of a lifetime, although location can play an important role. Imagine traveling around the world on your trip of a lifetime! Wouldn't that be wonderful? On the other hand, that same trip could prove to be relatively meaningless to you, unless you have someone special, or others like family and friends, with whom to share it. In other words, love often plays an important role for everyone, when it comes to taking the trip of a lifetime. Perhaps that is because love affects your perception.

The photographs of exotic birds and animals, other surprises of nature like the beauty of gorgeous sunrises and sunsets, the exciting images captured from mountain peaks, or amazing photos from the depth of the ocean, can offer proof that you have indeed experienced the trip of a lifetime. So may the wonderful treasures that you collect in your travels. But how much more exciting and beautiful it all seems when a trip of a lifetime is shared with others!

The Cookie Lady: No Cookie Monster

During the early post war years, regardless of the special occasion held at the public school, time and time again, just like magic, huge plates of homemade cookies showed up on the tables when it came time to celebrate. 

The mystery of the cookie lady remains unsolved, even today. For the most part, none of the younger students in the one room country school were ever really certain as to who the cookie lady was; nor did that seem to matter, as no one asked that question.

The cookie lady provided homemade cookies for the school children and their families. The cookies were fresh out of the oven, not the kind of cookies that have been prepackaged and stored on a shelf, for no one knows how long. There were never old, crumbly, dried out cookies that were purchased in local, grocery stores. No one could even find packages of those cookies anywhere, at least not in those days.

Many of the cookies from the cookie lady were iced or dipped in chocolate and beautifully decorated for special occasions like Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day or Easter. Sometimes, there were cookies for no special occasion at all. Who made them? Nobody asked.

Reflecting on the person known as the cookie lady, it could be suspected that perhaps a mother, a woman from the church, a Sunday school teacher, or a member of the Women's Institute was assigned the role of cookie lady, depending upon the special occasion. But it was more likely a whole conglomeration of ladies, mothers, grandmothers, teachers and other women, who made baking cookies their task for each event. Some of the older, female students or girls from the 4H home economics club may have been involved, as well. It did not seem to matter who was baking the cookies, but there certainly was no shortage of them for any of the ongoing social events involving the school, the Sunday School or church.

Reflecting on the cookies themselves, they were always such good ones! Chocolate chip cookies, oatmeal cookies with raisins or walnuts, molasses-gingerbread cookies or just plain sugar cookies, all whetted hungry children's appetites. Peanut butter cookies, or those made with dried fruit, candied peel, coconut and nuts of various kinds were equally appealing. Coconut meringue cookies were delicious, too!

Cookie indulgence was expected with respect to schoolchildren. It was not something frowned upon by the cookie lady, or anyone else. Over-indulgence did not seem to be problematic, at least not during that era. The few cookies that mysteriously disappeared from the tables did not create havoc or chaos, either. There was no cookie monster in those days, not even an implied one, even when the cookies that had somehow just appeared, suddenly disappeared.

Perhaps this kind of good cookie trend was a healthy sign of the times during an early, post-war period where people celebrated life together in its fullness.

It is not as if cookies were the only social delight, because all kinds of fancy sandwiches appeared on the tables too, along with cakes, brownies, lemon, apple, cherry or mincemeat pies, butter or lemon tarts and huge pitchers of juice, hot chocolate, tea and coffee. The source of popcorn and candy, including home made chocolates, fudge, mints, candied apples and toffee was not questioned for Halloween, Christmas or other holiday celebrations just simply enjoyed by everyone, especially the children.

Perhaps it all came from that same cookie lady. No one, at least not any of the children, even thought of asking who made them. Of course, over the years, the children grew older and began to learn the cookie lady's secrets. In turn, their children and grandchildren benefited from that collective knowledge, too.

But times became leaner and meaner, the old school was closed and all of the school children had to be taken by bus elsewhere. Social events continued in the old school which became a community center, but it was never the same.

Where did the cookie lady go? One might suspect that in spirit, she is still with the children of today, wherever they attend school or social events. She will never be extinct, even though the cookie trend of that specific era has been phased out. Vestiges of it will continue on in time.

Being a Freelance Writer: The Freedom in Freelance Writing

There is a lot of freedom in freelance writing! Being, or becoming a freelance writer may appear to be a luxury that only a few can afford, as it can be like any other kind of self employment, relatively ludicrous initially, at least as far as potential income is concerned.

What is freelance writing all about?

Many people go through life wishing for the opportunity to do what they want to do, and one of their aspirations may be to write. Life experiences are often such that these people do have something worthwhile to write about, and there are potentially those who would like to read what they write. For anyone seriously contemplating becoming a freelance writer, the readership field is wide open. Its scope is as unlimited as the potential freelance writer's imagination.

Developing freelance writing skills comes naturally to some, but not necessarily to others. Any freelance writer can write reams, but there is no guarantee that this work will be purchased. In other words, the market for it has to be located. There is no doubt about there being an actual market out there for the work of freelance writers, as it does exist. Some freelance writers are lucky and tap into a viable market immediately. For others, it takes time to find the best place to promote and publish one's work.

Being a freelance writer does have its advantages, because there is the opportunity to build a vast repertoire of writing, in a wide variety of genres. The freelance writer has the freedom to choose what he or she writes about and the format it takes, as well as whether or not, it is published. Not bound by continual employer obligation, or being hired as an employee, he or she is able to follow his or her own interests with respect to writing whatever, or whenever. Working hours are distinctly his or her own, unless he or she chooses to accept assignments with specific deadlines that must be met to be paid.

The initial task of the freelancer is that of learning how to write and submit manuscripts that are suitable for publication. That may involve taking courses in writing and editing, developing computer website and content publication skills, as well as learning how to market one's own work. Most freelance writers are writers, not marketers. Initially, many freelance writers set up their own websites or blogs. 

Learning professional marketing skills increases one's likelihood of being able to profit financially from freelance writing. Other viable options may include finding a specific agent who is able to do carry out that task. An established website may seek content from freelance writers, or a book publisher may be looking for specific kinds of manuscripts, as well.

Freelance writing is a continual process that meets the freelancer's basic need to write, in accordance with the inspiration of his or her muse, thoughts and ideas and potential career plans. No two freelancers have exactly the same kinds of aspirations; nor do they need to have. Freedom of literary expression is invariably the key to freelance writing.

Crazy as a Bedbug: Peeps and the Homeless Woman

"I love all these peeps," Lisa, a student nurse, tweeted to her friend, Dorica."

"Unlike some people, she's as crazy as a bedbug!"

"We don't know that!"

"She just sits in the park all day, never talks to anyone but herself, and looks like she has never washed her hair," replied Dorica.

"Maybe the woman just needs a friend?"

"Then, you can be her friend. I am far too busy!"

Lisa had a heart for people and so after their conversation, she decided to try to befriend the homeless woman.

The next day, Lisa approached her cautiously, and politely asked if she could sit down on the park bench, too. The surprised woman nodded her consent, moved her huge, tote bag closer, like a protective barrier, but remained silent.

Shortly thereafter, Lisa offered the woman a cup of hot coffee from her thermos and some warm biscuits. She tried to make casual conversation with her.

"Sh, listen and you will hear the peeps!" the elderly, bedraggled woman finally said to her, without looking up.

Lisa listened carefully, but could not hear anything.

The next day, Lisa went back again, sat down on the park bench and handed the woman another cup of fresh coffee. The woman accepted it graciously, saying, "Thanks."

Lisa decided to visit her every day, as she was obviously alone and needed a friend.

"Peep, peep!" the woman said excitedly, the next morning, pointing at a solitary robin, pulling worms out of the ground. "There is a nest with baby birds over there."

It took about a week before Matilda, the elderly woman, would talk to her, at any length. She was a widow, who lived in the homeless shelter down the street. She had to leave the shelter during the day and returned every night. The park was the only place where she wanted to go, because the birds were her friends, her only friends.

"Peep, peep," tweeted Lisa to Dorica. "I have a new friend who loves robins." 

"You befriended her?"

"Yes, I have a heart for people. Want to meet Matilda?"

"I am not really a people person, but maybe, just this once."

"You can see the baby robins."

"Maybe I could bring some bird seed!"

"Then, you would have a friend for life!"

Love, Caffeine Addiction or Something Else?

What is really happening when the focus in a relationship shifts to coffee shops? 

Something may be amiss! Over time, there are just too many cups of coffee at the coffee shop, for this to be regarded as a simple happenstance.

"Is this a coffee addiction, or is there something else going on?" a curious woman asks the waitress in a coffee shop, with respect to her spouse, who virtually lives for his coffee. "Is that man really in love with me?"

"I don't know," she replies. The waitress is far too busy serving coffee to customers in the coffee shop to answer all of their questions. Sometimes, silence states the unstated.

"Let's go to the coffee shop," her spouse says, repeatedly.

"Yes, dear," is her typical response.

This phenomenon is re-occurring over and over again, all around the world. And thus, the wife in question begins to wonder what is really going on.

"Should I be concerned?" she asks herself, as she quietly sips on her coffee while seated across from, or beside her spouse. She knows that coffee has always been potentially addictive in nature and that recently, it has become even more so over the last few decades, with a dramatic increase in the number of thriving coffee shops.

She also knows that almost everyone loves having a good cup of coffee, but that does not necessarily mean 'coffee shop' coffee. Many loyal and dedicated spouses love waking up to a hot cup of coffee, or enjoy one at mid-morning in their own homes with their spouses, other family members or close friends. Others simply like to start a day at work with a good cup of hot coffee, or have a mid-morning break with a cup of coffee accompanied by a fresh bagel, hot out of the oven. Donuts and coffee go well together too, many will attest.

Does it always have to be coffee at the coffee shop?

There is a certain degree of ambience in most coffee shop settings, where hundreds of people enjoy drinking coffee alone and with others, or spending quality time with someone special like a spouse or a friend. It does not seem to matter whether they are drinking regular coffee, a chocolate latte, or other unique coffees like those made from freshly ground, Jamaican coffee beans. Different nationalities enjoy culturally specific coffee like Italian espressos, or other exotic specialty coffees, all of the time.

Sharing something as simple as a cup of coffee with others in general, is one step towards building strong, positive relationships. Many potential marital relationships begin when two people share coffee and swap their unique life stories.

Coffee is still relatively affordable as a social luxury that the majority of spouses can enjoy together. But, when coffee shops have to be visited at odd times of the day or night, repeatedly, any spouse may start to wonder about his or her significant other.

"What is my spouse really stating by going to the coffee shop for coffee, all of the time?"

"I love coffee and my spouse, but is he otherwise engaged?"

"Maybe this has something to do with business?"

Checking up on a spouse at the coffee shop now and then, might be a good idea.

"I will just have to have a coffee with my spouse today," might help to rescue a potentially disastrous marriage, but then maybe not.

Addiction is addiction. Love is love and something else may be anything other.