You Were My Best Friend: Dealing With the Loss of a Pet

The death of a pet is potentially devastating for any adult, teenager or child. Its loss often brings a conundrum of mixed feelings, including joy and sorrow. Normally, we rejoice in celebrating the lives of our pets, simply because of our positive, constructive and pro-active relationship towards them and their interaction with us.

We also mourn their loss when they pass away, as with their loss, whether it is sudden or expected, there is inevitable grief with all of its stages including denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

"You were my best friend," a pet owner who is grieving, may say to a deceased pet, even one that passed away years ago. In his or her memory, the pet lives on, but there may be a lingering sense of emptiness, the awareness of a void that seems like it can never be filled.

Grieving for a deceased pet is a normal, healthy, human reaction, although it may not seem that way, at that time. Over-reactions tend to be of concern, particularly when the loss of a pet appears to be something that its owner does not seem to get over after a reasonable length of time.

How long should one grieve for a pet that has passed away?

There are no hard and fast rules about what is an appropriate length of time for a person to grieve for a deceased pet. One person may grieve considerably longer than another, depending upon his or her relationship to that particular pet. How each one grieves may differ also.

Children may be traumatized by the death of a pet, particularly when it dies suddenly. A pet is often part of a child's secure world. Any changes to this world can seem to be problematic to him or her, as the pet is there and then it is gone, changing the child's world. Routines that include the care of a pet are disrupted, but somehow, life must go on.

It is never easy to say goodbye to a pet, but at the same time, it is necessary. Transitions in life are inevitable, even though no one really expects his or her pet to die.

There may be strong guilt feelings associated with the loss of a pet, and a series of regrets may surface. "If only," cannot and will not bring a pet back.

The love of a pet and the love experienced from that pet, are both an important part of the human experience. Most people will experience them, at one time or another, but then they also have to deal with the awareness of the loss of that love, as most pets do not normally have a lengthy lifespan.

Love never dies and is transferable, at least to some extent, as far as a pet is concerned. In other words, obtaining another pet may appear to be an appropriate solution for a person who is grieving for a lost pet. At the same time, each pet is unique and different. The way a person relates to that new pet may differ also. New thoughts and feelings tend to surface in relation to new pets, but that is a good thing, as life always moves forward,

The joy of a good experience with a pet is never forgotten; nor should it be. There is invariably an element of newness, expectation and self-realization in any owner-pet relationship. That relationship in turn, often helps a person to fulfill and understand his or her own life, as well as his or her role with respect to his or her relationship and responsibility towards potential pets. In his or her lifetime, anyone can have more than one best friend, as long as he or she is open to a new experience.